2 mysteries.

"Here are two mysteries

for the price of one--the plurality of persons within the unity of God,

and

the union of Godhead and manhood in the person of Jesus.

It is here, in the thing that happened at the first Christmas,

that the profoundest and most unfathomable depths of the Christian revelation lie.

"The Word became flesh";

God became man;

the divine Son became a Jew;

the Almighty appeared on earth as a helpless human baby,

unable to do more than lie and stare and wriggle and make noises,

needing to be fed and changed and taught to talk

like any other child.

And there was no illusion or deception in this:

the babyhood of the Son of God was a reality.

the more you think about it, the more staggering it gets.

Nothing in fiction is so fantastic as is

this truth of the Incarnation."

[knowing God.] --j.i. packer

-j. shae

{I will find rest}

"God is God.

Because he is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience.

I will find rest

nowhere

but in His holy will

that is

u n s p e a k a b l y

beyond

my largest notions

of what

He

is up to."

[elisabeth elliot]

Sometimes I wonder...

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder,

do I do it because I like it, or because

I haven't been brave?

So much of what I see reminds me of something

I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?

I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the

v o i d.

So good night, dear void."

{Kathleen Kelly}

-j. shae

hope.

Hope can be such a precariously happy thing.

You never know when the curtain will be

pulled away and you'll see

what you were hoping in

for what it actually is, a total sham.

[unless]

My hope is firmly attached to the

One thing or Person

that will never prove to be less than I was hoping,

but in fact will always be better

than anything I could ever ask or think.

That is, the personhood of

Jesus Christ.

["Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think...to Him be glory" -eph. 3:20,21]

-j. shae

"For He who is the ground of thy faith..."

So very very encouraged by this Puritan prayer I read tonight before bed...

[Remember] O my soul,

It is thy duty & privilege to

rejoice in God:

He requires it of thee for all his favours of grace.

Rejoice then in the Giver & his goodness,

Be happy in him, O my heart, & in nothing

but God,

for whatever a man trusts in,

from that he expects happiness.

He who is the ground of thy faith

should be the substance of thy

joy.

Whence then comes heaviness & dejection,

when joy is sown in thee,

promised by the Father,

bestowed by the Son,

inwrought by the Holy Spirit,

thine by grace,

thy birthright in believing?

Art thou seeking to rejoice in thyself

from an evil motive of pride & self-reputation?

Thou hast nothing of thine own but sin,

nothing to move God to be gracious

or to continue his grace towards thee.

If thou forget this thou wilt lose thy joy.

Art thou grieving under a sense of indwelling sin?

Let godly sorrow work repentance,

as the true spirit which the Lord blesses,

& which creates fullest joy;

Sorrow for self opens rejoicing in God,

Self-loathing draws down divine delights.

Hast thou sought joys in some creature comfort?

Look not below God for happiness;

fall not asleep in Delilah’s lap.

Let God be

[all in all]

to thee,

& joy in the fountain that is always full.

- j. shae

{11.29.09}

Tonight I came home from running errands and dropping my little brother off at basketball practice to find a house empty of people. Now for any of you that are from a big family, you know how rare this is. Apparently my family all went to my little sister's soccer game (we like sports in this family...can you tell?:) leaving me at home all.by.myself.tonight.

I was pretty excited. Not because I don't like being around my family, but because it is really nice to have alone time every now and then. So, what did I do? Well first, I posted a status about it, asking you all for ideas on how I should spend these few rare moments alone. After reading the little (very little) bit of feedback I got, I decided I was on my own when it came to my evening planning...so here's what I came up with:

• I turned on Christmas Music
• I lit all my new "Christmas scented candles" in my room
• I ate popcorn and hot chocolate for dinner. Very nutritional, I know.
• I wrapped Christmas presents.
• I did a load of laundry (ARE YOU READING THIS MOM?? I DID A LOAD OF LAUNDRY. Proof that I do work around here. So how cares that we all have rainbow colored socks now? At least they're clean:)
• I finished up the last bit of work on a client package.
• I got %67 of my packing done
• Packing for what, you ask? O my, did I forget to tell you that I AM GOING TO DENVER IN APPROXIMATELY 33 HOURS?!?!?
• Because I am. Yessir-ee Bob I am. And I think, I might just be excited about that. Let me check. O YES, I definitely am :) And I get to be there for 12 whole days. With my Krista BFF no less...and a host of other awesome friends :) And take pictures of awesome people. And meet awesome photog's. Yeah, this is one h.a.p.p.y girl right here :)
• And I have no idea why I am bullet pointing my trip plans when I am supposed to be telling you about what I did tonight....O well.
• I caught up on emails, well....kiiiinda caught up on emails. All the really urgent ones anyways :)
• I chatted with my bro, the one that I haven't seen in 102 days and the one that I GET TO SEE IN 17 DAYS. Yes, that one.

Aren't you proud of how productive I was? I am happy. And as a friend said when I told them everything I had accomplished tonight, "isn't it just the best feeling when you have had a really productive day and you can look back and feel good about it?" Yessir-ee Bob it is :)

And a lovely evening was had by all. . .

Much Love,
jessica shae

P.S. For anyone who was worrying, I didn't really turn all of our socks rainbow colored. Honest I didn't... :)

P.P.S. The picture at the top was taken last week at Thanksgiving dinner. Isn't my fam amazing looking?!? Except we are missing Ben, you know...the brother I haven't seen in 102 days, but I get to see in . . . yeah yeah, you know all about that already :)

Girl Scout Cookies

I bought my first box of Girl Scout cookies this afternoon, from a neighborhood girl. I say "first" because I have this sneaking suspicion that it wont be the last that I purchase this season. I was so proud of how self controlled I was this afternoon as I calmly purchased only ONE box of Tagalongs, all the while really wanting to grab another box of Thin Mints.

It is such a hard decision to make. I LOVE Thin Mints, and I LOVE Tagalongs. How is one to ever decide?

You can always do what I do, deceive yourself into thinking that you are only going to buy ONE box of cookies this season so you make your choice between the two. . .or three. . .or four. . .that you really want, usually based on what your craving is at that exact moment. And all the while you are trying to ignore the fact that you have already decided in the back of your mind, that it really doesn't matter, you will be buying another box in the next few weeks, in the flavor(s) that you did not allow yourself to purchase today.

And then you can feel relieved. Because it is ok. . .really, you get both.

Eventually ;)

~Jessica Shae

And again.

It is late, and I should be in bed...but my heart is full and I need to write this now, or I will enter my crazy busy day tomorrow and it will end up being another day and a half before I can post this.

My God is good.

But what, is "good" exactly? It is a word, that is used numerous times in a day, and so to use that common word to describe my GOD, the Great I AM...seems a little boring.

But He is...he is, "satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree", "of high quality; excellent", "right; proper; fit", "genuine; not counterfeit", "honorable or worthy", He is all these things and more.

And today, I was once again overwhelmed by it all. Not only because He has done GREAT things for me, but also for the little things that he has done for me. It is the little things that usually awe me more. Who am I that HE would care about the little tiny details of my day, and love me enough to interject His goodness into them?

Today, God gave us a suburban.

Yes, GAVE.

We did not pay a single penny for it, and yet we are now the grateful owners of another suburban.

We are so grateful for the sweet couple at church that were sensitive to the Lords prompting and have blessed us beyond measure, by giving it to us. I pray that the Lord gives back to you ten fold what you have given today.

Mmmmmhhhmmm. God is good in the big things...but that is not it.

Yesterday afternoon I was in my room and realized that one of my earrings was gone. I was so sad, it was one of my favorite pairs, and I hated to have lost it. I knew I would never find it, I had been all over that day, running errands, outside doing stuff...it could be any where. All the same, I whispered a quick prayer to my Jesus, and just told Him "how much I would love to be able to find that earring and I knew that he knew exactly where it was, so if it was ok with Him could he show me?"

Less than five minutes later, Emma, my six year old sister comes running in the house and up the stairs yelling my name. She ran in the room holding out her little hand to me, saying..."Jessica! Look what I just found on the driveway!"

Uhuh. My earring.

Yeah, my God cares that much for me. I was so happy to have the earring back, and didn't even care that the back was lost, I told God, "Thank you soooo much! You are so amazing, and I don't even care that the back is lost, I have lots of those I can use with this one."

But God wasn't done.

This morning I came downstairs and was talking to my dad in the living room, and as he was sitting down in one of our arm chairs he says..."Oh, look. Here is the back to someones earring."

I feel special.

The God of all the universe knows me, and loves to make me smile through the little things in life.

Like the guy who bends over backwards show his "special someone" that he loves her, doing everything from taking her to big fancy dinners, to sending flowers or calling just to say "I love you", So the Lover of my Soul, woos me with sending me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. No one else can do it quite like Him, because only HE, knows my innermost parts, and hears my every thought, and knows my every need.

Yeah...I am in love with Him. How could I not be?

I have been looking for a while now for a new cute jean skirt. Attractive, modest, jean skirts are hard to find these days, but a must have in my opinion, to have a well rounded wardrobe :)

I have been looking for one for a while and God knew about it, and so I was just kind of keeping it on the back burner, hoping I would find one soon.

And again...today I was at Goodwill, not even looking at clothes but in fact was there hoping to find a bookshelf for my room. I looked through all of their furniture and after deciding that they didn't have what I was looking for, was turning to leave, but a skirt hanging at the very end of a rack near me caught my eye. It was a jean skirt. That just happened to look brand new. And just happened to be very cute. And just happened to be in my exact size.

One last thing that I have to add...today, God spoke to me in a very unexpected way. He chose to use someone that I don't know extremely well, but have met only once and then have kept up with her a little and gotten to know her better since then. For whatever reason, she opened her heart to me today, and shared one of the most precious stories I have ever heard. A true story of a life experience that she has recently had. It blew me away. It will take days, weeks maybe to process what God said to me today through that.

Thank you friend.

For being sensitive to the Lords leading and gracious enough to allow the Lord to use you in my life today.

I am heading to bed now....

May the Lord bless you with the same sense of awe and wonder of who He is, of who He wants to be to you, if you will only let Him in.

Good night.

~Jessica Shae

Two decades old.

Exactly one month from today I will no longer be apart of the age group classified as 'Teenagers'. Scary. Weird. Can't quite get a good grasp on that whole idea.

All you 21 year olds, 30 year olds, and well...those of you who can't even count how many years it has been since you were a teenager, I am sure are laughing right now.

Laugh away.

I know I have melodramatic tendencies, but, this is a big deal guys. I remember when I turned ten, a whole decade old! "Double Digits!" It was a HUGE deal (in my mind anyways) and I felt such a weight of responsibility in my 'old age'. Not kidding guys, you think I am dramatic now, I was waaaay worse then. I remember initiating a very serious talk with my mom right after my tenth birthday, and I told her all about how old I felt now, and how I didn't feel like people treated me old enough. Yep. I was serious too. I think there were tears shed ;) And now to think that I have doubled that number, I am about to be two whole decades old.

It is sad, scary, and wonderful all at the same time.

I am sure that when the day comes I wont feel any different, but my mindset is already changing. I can't imagine what it will be like the first time I have to tell someone that I am TWENTY years old. It sounds ANCIENT. (yeah, I can hear the laughter for sure now :)

But, enough of my melancholy wanderings...I was just feeling my bones creak tonight and decided to share my feelings with y'all. If you all have any ideas of things that maybe I should do before I turn twenty please let me know, and I will try and work it into my schedule.

Maybe I will post some memories and funny things about my 'growing up' years over the next few weeks or so. I am laughing already as I think of all that I could tell you about :)

......................................................................................

"When I am sixteen I am going to wear my hair up, just like Alice Bell." ~Anne

.......................................................................................

Practically an "old maid"...


~Jessica Shae

"My determined purpose . . . "

I love the beginning of a new year. I love the feeling of starting anew, of looking out into a new year "with no mistakes in it . . ." as Anne Shirley would say. I love the feeling of wondering what tomorrow, next week, six months from now, holds for me.

The unknown.

It is always amazing to me at the end of every year to look back on where I was a year ago, and see how much has changed since then. Most of it change that I would have never seen coming. I wonder . . . where will I be twelve months from now?

I don't like making resolutions at the new year. Everyone makes them, and then three weeks later promptly breaks them and continues on with life just as it had been three weeks before.

Instead, one of my favorite things about starting a new year is seeking the Lord about what He would have me focus on in the coming year. Every year for the past 5 or so that I have been doing this, He has never failed to press upon my mind a certain area of my life, subject, character quality, or bible verse that illustrates what He wants me to focus on. And this year has been no different.

But before I share the vision that God has given me for this new year, let me say a few other things.

This year, more than ever before I have felt that the year ahead of me is going to be BIG. Admittedly, every year walking with my Savior is big, how could it not be? But I mean even bigger than normal. This year more than ever I will be faced with the challenges that come from making unpopular choices and not doing the "politically correct" thing with my life. I am now a nineteen year old soon to be twenty year old girl, who is single, and not dating anyone. I am not going to college, and have no plans to do so in the near future. I am not pursuing a career, but am content to be at home where God has me right now, serving my father.

I am not doing it the "right way" according to what most everyone around me would say. I am not making the most of the opportunities that I have, to be someone great, to do something amazing that will impress many. I am not a "success" in the basic sense of the word.

But, whose standard am I living by anyways? In the end will it matter if I have satisfied others sense of political correctness, or, if I have brought joy to the heart of my Maker and Savior by pursing his desire for me and for my life?

The verses that the Lord gave me as my main focus and passion this year, I am more excited about than I could say.

They are Phil. 3:8-12. I love it in the Amplified, so that is what I am posting it in here, and I would ask that you please please please, read it in its entirety, and slowly. Take it all in and read it as if you had never read it before. I know it is a little long, but really, it is amazing.

..................................................

8Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One),
9And that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith.
10[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[a]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]
11That if possible I may attain to the [[b]spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].
12Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.

...................................................

Isn't it amazing!?!

I count everything loss when compared to the priceless privilege of becoming deeply and intimately more acquainted with Him. (paraphrase mine)

To know He who speaks, and waves are calmed. He who breathes, and life is created. He who paid the ultimate sacrifice by laying down His life for me while I was yet in my sins, unaware of what He had done, in order that I might have eternal joy with Him.

This is my "determined purpose".

To know and be conformed to Him.

"When You said, seek My face, my heart said to You, Your face, LORD, I will seek.” ~Psalm 27:8

~Jessica Shae

My Christmas "Wish list". . .

• Pink Converse All Stars
• Do Hard Things (the book)
• Camera Bag
• "Possibilities" (the perfume)
• Cowgirl boots
• "The Day I Was Crucified: as told by Jesus Christ" (the book)
• Clothes
• Jewelry
  

The season for wishes is here. And as a friend said, "Isn't it so nice that wishes don't actually cost anything!?!"

I agree :)

But even more than that, I am so glad that have been given the ability to be totally and completely satisfied in my Savior. Although it is not always that I live with this mindset, He is All in All to me.

~I have no good outside of Him.

~There is no friend that sticks closer than Him.

~He has given me his Living Word, and has allowed me to live in a country where I have ready and easy access to It.

~He supplies my every need, and then goes beyond that, and satisfies my every desire as well.

~As my Best Friend, He is always there to listen, encourage, and counsel.

~As the Lover of my Soul, he daily wins my heart with the acts of love he displays for me, sunsets, flowers, speaking to my heart from His Word.

~It is in His presence that I can find lasting joy.

~He orders and establishes my steps, when I seem to have lost my way.

~When I am overwhelmed with discouragement, fears, or anger, He leads me to a quiet place, and restores me to a right relationship with Him.

~~~~~~~

. . .What are boots and perfume in comparison to all that?.

So, the biggest thing on my "Wish list" this year is. . .

• To know and be conformed to Him. Phil 3:10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So you shall rejoice in every good thing which the LORD your God has given to you and your house. . ." Deuteronomy 26:11

~Jessica Shae

Catch up. . .

I haven't really actually written in quite some time, Life, ya know, it happens :)

So now I am going to attempt to do catch up on all that has been going on. It may be a little scattered..so bear with me.

Work-

I am still working at the call center, but, happy news...tomorrow is my last day! I will be so glad to not have a Mon-Fri, 8-5 job anymore, and just in time for the Christmas season! But it will be somewhat bittersweet, I will miss the relationships that I have built with my co-workers, and my heart is so burdened for each of them. They need Jesus so much, as we all do, right? I honestly cannot explain the the love that I have for them outside of the fact that Jesus has placed it there. I know, I know, how cliche right? "Jesus has given me a love for them". And while I am sure that many of the people that use that phrase really do mean it...it has become so common that it hardly means anything to us anymore. But for the first time in my life I have known what it is like to love people that I barely even know.

People go on mission trips and come back having fallen in love with the "people" that they served there. Well, I have been on my own sort of mission trip over the past three months. And yes, I have fallen in love with my "people group". I have ached for them, cried for them, and prayed for them. Prayed that God would be able to use me, that they would come to know Him and His Saving Grace. I have had multiple conversations with some of the people that I am closest with at work, discussions like, why I believe there is a God. How I make big decisions in my life. Why I don't drink, cuss, smoke, listen to the same music or watch the same movies as them. It has been good for me to have to actually formulate into words what I believe, and then think "why do I believe that?" when they ask questions.

Maybe some of you are thinking that this is a little extreme. I mean after all, this is just work and lots of people, Christians even, do this every day. But what a waste. To just, "go to work" day in day out, with no bigger purpose. I am so grateful for the tool that the Lord has given me to witness to new people. It would have been a total waste of three months to just have gone to work each day, just for the paycheck.

So, pray for me, and for my co-workers, as I spend the last day there at work with them. I am also very excited because one of my co-workers, his name is Andrew, is coming to church with my family on Sunday. He has been the one that had been the most receptive, and I really think that the Lord has been working in his heart. So please, please, pray!


Other odds and ends-

I am looking forward to all of my mom's side of the family being here for Thanksgiving next month. My Aunt, Uncle, and cousins from San Fransisco will be here for the whole week, I can't wait to see them!! I will be taking family pictures for them while they are here and then I will also be taking family pictures of the whole family. There will be 16 of us total, it should be interesting to see how they turn out. I will make sure and post them sometime next week, for you all to see.

It is finally getting a little chilly here, the high tomorrow is supposed to be 57 degrees. I love the Holiday season and I cannot wait to start putting up all the christmas stuff around here.

God has been working in my life in so many different areas lately, opening new doors, and giving direction. But the last few months have also had their share of dark places. I am still proccessing so much of what has been happening, but hopefully sometime soon I will be able to share some of it with you all. Right now I think it is time for me to close, this has been quite long enough.


God bless each and every one of you my readers...
Rejoice in Him, who is Lord of All.

~Jessica Shae

10.25.08

Tonight I went on a bike ride. . .and I took Mollie with me. Isn't she a cutie? I also saw my very first shooting star tonight, not. even. kidding. I am 19 years old and I have never seen a shooting star as far as I can remember. It was so amazing. A special gift from my Father, sent just for me I am sure.

~Jessica Shae

He IS Good. . .

Most of you will remember my post a couple of months ago about when my brothers car was stolen. (If not, you may want to go here to read it before reading this post).

Well, today the police called and said they had found my brother's car and, "would we like to come and pick it up?"

I was so shocked when I heard. We had all given up hope that it would be found, in fact, he was in the process of buying a new car this week. I wish that I wasn't so shocked, because why should I be shocked by a display of my mighty Gods' power? But that is how it is so often, God, with one little "flick" of his finger can do things that are so amazing to me. . .and I love it when He "shows off" for me.

So they went and picked it up this afternoon and although the golf clubs were gone and the stereo had been taken out, and the ignition was trashed, we are all so happy that he got it back.

Praise the Lord for His unending interest in the "little"things of life.

He IS good, and His mercies are never-ending.

~Jessica Shae

Work,Work, Work!

The last two weeks have been some of the busiest I've had in a long time. I have made it through the first two weeks of work, and and can't wait for the next six to fly by! It has been fun to go to work with my dad every day, but I definitely don't like the leaving at 7 am every morning and returning home at 7 pm or later every night. Let's just say my appreciation of the weekend has risen drastically. I don't mind the work so much, and most of the people I work with are very nice, but it has still been a very interesting experience so far for me. I was asked earlier this week (by a co-worker) if I was Mormon. . .Huh? Don't know where that one came from.

I am quickly becoming the resident expert in medical insurance around our house, because Mon-Fri i sit in classes all day learning everything that could ever be known about insurance, since that is what I will be answering questions about when our call center opens. It has been rough, because most of the people I work with either have, worked in call centers before, therefore they already know all the proper procedures for call center "stuff". Me? I have no clue. There are some who haven't worked in call centers before but they all at least have had to deal with insurance stuff before (like while setting up there own) and have a general working knowledge of what certain things mean and how it all works. That is especially where I am having trouble, I mean, two weeks ago, I have no clue what the difference was between and HMO and a PPO, and even now, don't ask me because I am still working on it:) So, I come home at the end of each day with my brain fried, and trying to keep up with all the different terms and procedures I am supposed to be remembering.

Tomorrow I have the two big tests on everything they have been teaching us, one on the phone testing us on our phone/customer service skills and seeing how well we can answer questions of the people calling in. And then the second one will be a written test, on all the medical insurance material they have been teaching us. I know it will be really hard, over 50% of the people in the class before us failed it...so, we shall see how I do. One nice thing is that I have my own personal instructor, my dad! He is one of my class instructors right now, so everything I'm learning, he's taught a class on it! I would appreciate prayers that I would do good in my tests tomorrow, I will be testing all afternoon if you want to know when to pray.

The other big thing in our life right now is that we moved this weekend! This will be our 5th house to live in in a little over 15 months. . .a little to many in my opinion:) The move went extremely well actually, we had almost 40 people show up from our church to help us move, it was SO wonderful! We were able to get almost completely moved in in one day (Sat.). We all love our new house, even if it is a little bit smaller than the last one, and I will be posting pics of it as soon as I get a chance to take some.

So sorry that I have not been posting as regularly, I really am going to try and do better about that:)


~Jessica Shae

Only my best for Him

I came across this story this morning. . .

"The story is told of a king who went into his garden one morning and found everything withered and dying. He asked the oak tree that stood near the gate what the trouble was. The old oak replied that he was sick of life and was determined to die, because he was not tall and beautiful like the pine. The pine was all out of heart because it could not bear grapes like the vine. The vine was going to throw its life away because it could not stand erect and have as fine fruit as the peach tree; and so on through the garden.

Coming to a little purple violet, the king found its bright face lifted as cheery as ever. 'Well, violet, I'm glad amidst all this discouragement to find one brave little flower. You do not seem to be the least disheartened.'

'No. I'm really not an important flower, but I believe that if you wanted an oak or a pine or a peach tree or a lilac, you would have planted one; but since I know you wanted a violet, I am determined to be the best violet I can be."

Yes, that is what I want. To be the person that he created me to be. To delight in the roles that he designed me to fill. To find joy in carrying out any tasks he sets before me, whether small or big, for His ultimate glory.

I am determined to. . .

"be all that I am, with all that I can, right now...for the Glory of God." ~Christiana Reed

Soli Deo Gloria

~Jessica Shae

A day in the life. . .

So this morning I created an embarrassing moment for myself (those seem to sort of define my life these days:). I was going through all the drafts I had in my inbox and deleting some old ones I knew I wasn't going to finish, and came across one that I didn't even realize I still had, I don't know why I kept it, I guess it was accidental. So anyways, I was going to delete it but, instead of deleting it I accidentally pushed send. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. So Dumb.

It was an email that I had written over a month ago, but had decided not to send it. So now, a person who shall go unnamed, has received an email from me about something that they will have no idea why I am bringing it up at this random point in history. Talk about feeling stupid. After sending it and staring in shock at the computer screen for a few seconds I sent them another email explaining the first email (feeling stupider by the second). Oh well, life goes on...and things like this make for good stories.

Anyways, in spite of all that, today has been a good day. I was able to catch up on all the family laundry, finish a good book, talk to a friend, and later on I am planning on cutting my brothers hair. But now I need to get downstairs to make dinner. Homemade Italian pretzels and spaghetti, one of my favorites!


Life is good, because God is good :)
~Jessica Shae

God. Is. Good.

This morning I woke up to the sound of my mom calling my dad's name in a rather loud and urgent voice, the one saved mostly for serious situations. It was still somewhat early, so I stumbled out of bed wondering what on earth was going on and met most of the other members of my family at the top of the stairs, everyone still a little dazed by being woken up in such a loud and unusual manner. We didn't have long to wait, because just as I reached the top of the stairs we heard my mom say, "Benjamin's car is gone".

And so began my day.

Yes, his car had been stolen, sometime during last night. My brother had gone outside to leave for work this morning, only to stop when he reached the driveway and wonder where his car had gone. So, we spent the morning (more specifically my mom spent the morning) talking to the police officer that came and then on the phone with the insurance company, trying to figure out what could be done to find it. Basically the outcome is this, unless they find it abandoned on the side of the road, or just "happen to see it somewhere" the chances of it being recovered are pretty much one in a hundred. Oh yes, and did I also mention that he had a couple of thousand dollars worth of golf clubs in his trunk?

I still don't think it has fully sunk in what has happened. I mean, I've only ever read in books and the newspaper about people's cars being stolen, it couldn't be happening to us, right!?!

So, although this may seem like somewhat of an oxi-moron...today I have been thinking about the goodness of God in a Christians life, and more specifically in my life. I don't understand why He would allow this to happen. But I can know this one thing...

He is good. (Psalm 100:5)
Always.
In every circumstance.
He is good.
He always has been.
And he always will be.
Because He never changes. (Malachi 3:6)
So I can know for sure,
That because he has been good in the past, (James 1:17)
He will be good to me now.
I may not always recognize His goodness to me.(Genesis 50:20)
In fact, I am sure I miss quite a bit of it.
Because I am looking for it with human eyes. (Exodus 33:19)
But I still can know,
That He is good. (Psalm 34:8)
Not because I deserve it.
But because He delights to pour out His goodness,
On the most undeserving. (Psalm 145:9)
He has promised to be good to me. (Number 10:29)
Therefore I can rest assured that He will follow through.
So today I can be at peace.
Because I know who holds tomorrow.
My
Everlastingly
Unchangeable
Good
God.


~Jessica Shae

Footprints on my Heart <3

"Some people come into our lives
and quickly go. Some stay for a while,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
~Flavia Weedn"

I am back from California, and can't begin to say how much fun I had! I was able to do so much in the short time I had there and made so many great memories:) I was able to work in the Capitol Ministries National office for two days, and it was really nice to get to meet everyone there and learn some of the programs I will need to know how to use in order to be able to help my dad.

Then I went to the ATI Regional Conference there in Sacramento. I got to see so many old friends(Britton, Bri, Andrew, Kitty, Rachel, Elizabeth, Melinda, Rob, Janny, Mr. Bell, Bethany, and many others!), it was so awesome to be able to catch up a little with all of them. The week flew by, and then on the closing night (Fri.) I went with Sarah's family to the Boy Scout camp (where they had been holding ALERT cadets all week) to the staff dinner they were having there. It was a nice time of getting to eat, play ultimate, and hang out with old, and new, friends:)

At the Boy Scout camp Fri. night

(Hannah and I)

After the conference was over I got to enjoy a packed week with the Ramey family. They were awesome hosts, and made my time with them so special and fun! On Saturday they took me up to Lake Tahoe and it was so gorgeous, we grilled out hamburgers and went on a bike ride down to the lake. That night we were also able to make it to a street fair in a little town near them, Colfax, CA.

The Rameys
Daniel, David, Hannah, Mr. and Mrs. Ramey, and Sarah

Me, Hannah and Sarah

Sarah and I in our matching Chicago shirts:)

Lake Tahoe

The street fair in Colfax

On Sunday, after church, we packed up and went to a nearby lake with their houseboat. A bunch of people from their church came and we played volley ball and ultimate frisbee late into the evening.

Playing volleyball by the lake. . .

Sarah, looking like a little orphan child in her wet and sandy swimsuit cover-up:)

Hannah

We stayed on the boat for two nights, and on Monday we spent the day swimming, playing volleyball, canoeing, having a mud fight, and swinging from these awesome rope swings someone had hung from the trees.

We could lay on the top deck of the boat and look at the stars when we went to bed each night. . . it was so beautiful!

On the boat

Sunburnt!

On Wednesday morning Sarah and Hannah and I rode our bikes down the mountain (in 105 degree weather, we thought we were going to die:) to this little place called Happy Apple Kitchen to have brunch. It was so adorable! It is family owned and they had some of the best home cooked food I've tasted in a long time! They grow all their own apples and peaches and they make homemade apple juice, pies and all sorts of yummy stuff, and the Rameys are actually their suppliers for all the eggs they use. We had yummy peach shakes made with fresh peaches, it was one of the best things I've ever tasted:)

Then, that afternoon we went to a nearby river that was amazing, I've never seen anything like it! I wish I had been able to take my camera with me so I could show you pictures but I was afraid it would get wet so I didn't:( We had a fun afternoon going "spelunking" in this long tunnel/cave they had blown through the mountain, and then swimming and playing in the river. I managed to get several large bruises in the process of it all but still had tons of fun!

I guess I should also mention that the Ramey's house/land was so awesome! They have turkeys, chickens, a lamb, 3 cows, a dog, a cat, and they grow all kinds of fruits and vegetables. . .pretty much my dream world:) I had told Hannah that some time while I was there I wanted to learn how to milk the cow (I had never done that before:), so Thursday morning she woke me up early and I go to help milk the cow, it was amazing!!!

Me, milking. . .*sigh of delight*

That night Sarah, Hannah, Esther (Sarah's older sister), and I got all dressed up and went out to dinner. We had so much fun! That was probably one of the most fun times I had while I was there.

Esther, Me, Sarah, Hannah

On my trip home I had a long layover in Denver so I was able to get together with a bunch of old friends for a little while.

Brittany, Sean, Krista, Matt, Siobhan, Me, Jaquie.

My time in Cali was totally amazing and I am already looking forward to my next visit, whenever that may be!

I love you Sarah!!!

"Do not be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends." ~Richard Bach

were I've been...where I am....and where I'm headed...

As most of you already know, I have been working for the past nine months for a Christian ministry called IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles), and it has been an amazing experience, one I will never forget! Recently though, God gave clear direction that it was time for me to return home. My main reason for returning home was to help my dad as he has just taken the position of State Director for Capitol Ministries Texas http://www.capmin.org/. The best way to describe the ministry is that he will be working as a missionary to the Senators, Legislators, Lobbyists, and anyone else working there in the Texas State Capitol. Right now he is currently working on raising support (it is a support based ministry, much like any other mission work would be), and about a month ago my dad asked me to come home and work as his secretary. There is so much to be done as this is a very crucial time to be making contacts, meeting with possible donors and getting everything organized for our proposed launch date of the first of next year. I am so excited to be home, and for the opportunity to be able to help my dad in this way. It is also so sweet for me to be in this position, since it has been a dream of mine since I was about eight to be my dad's secretary!

Other than that, I have been busy catching up on what is going on in my sibling's lives, and after being gone for nine months, there's alot to catch up on! I have enjoyed being back to "normal" home life, but I am also hoping to be able to make trips back to HQ every now and then. I hope to have the opportunity to help with future Journeys, possibly delegations, and just to visit all my wonderful friends.

My time at HQ was wonderful and something that I will never regret doing. I made some of the most amazing friends, got to lead several Journeys, was able to staff several conferences, and work alongside some of the most Godly committed young people I have ever met! The Lord used so many of the experiences I had while up there to continue to mold me into the image of His Son Jesus Christ.

Some of the most powerful experiences I had was each time that I was able to help lead a Journey to the Heart http://iblp.org/iblp/discipleship/journeytotheheart/. For those of you who are not familiar with the Journey to the Heart program, they are designed to allow young people to get away from all the distractions of daily life and seek the Lord. It is a ten day retreat in upper peninsula MI, held at one of the ministry's conference centers. It is focused on searching out your heart before the Lord and being real about where your walk with Him is. We have seen young people who thought they were saved for years get saved while on their Journey. It has been amazing to be a part of this ministry as I have seen time and again how God has worked in the lives of the young people who have attended the Journey.

Now, I would appreciate all of your prayers as I enter this new phase of my life. That I would walk worthy of the Lord who has called me into His service, and continue to find joy in serving Him in any capacity!

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task; but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."

~Hellen Keller


PS-I am posting some of my pics taken over the last nine months while I was at Hq...Enjoy!